Skin & Bones
by The Cliffhanger Girl
Summary: I just want to end it all, should I trip, or should I fall? Will someone be there to catch me when I'm falling to the ground, or will I be there forever, lying there, with no sound?


Hey guys! Depressing one-shot? Yup, I think so...I know a lot of you are probably waiting for that happy Eclare one-shot, but I really can't seem to find a happy comfort zone so until then, I'm experimenting. Please Enjoy this one-shot I'd like to call, "Skin and Bones"...

**A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY BETA READER**-SomeoneNamedLiz

This was inspired from a song called "Skin and Bones" by Fix Me-Marianas Trench.

_**Rated "M" because of language/content/OOC'ness/themes**_

I've turned the anonymous reviews to disabled, so if anyone wants to leave a review, I'm sorry but you'll have to sign in to do so because I've really had it with the anonymous hatred reviews. I apologize on their behalf for ruining it for the positive/constructive criticism reviewers.

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><p><strong><span>SKIN AND BONES<span>**

Are you deathly afraid of the _**gentle**_ touch from the human hand?

**I am.**

Does your chapped lips quiver in heart racing fear when the person you _**love**_ tries to lay an actual warm, passion filled, caring hand on your face?

**Mine do.**

My body works like a ticking time bomb, it's just simply waiting for that one wrong tug of a "wire", before it combusts and all of the people around me turn into nothing but dark, lonely ashes.

Do you fear the day that the part of your past that makes your heart stop finally comes back to haunt you?

**I do.**

"Clare," his gentle whisper fills the air, echoing softly through my ears. Instead of the usual unstable jolt that breaks me out of my dark glare into the outside world, I turned my head to look up at Eli, who was standing patiently beside me.

"Were you daydreaming again Edwards?" I smiled weakly, wishing that I _**was**_ daydreaming.

I sighed, quickly standing to my feet, only to trip over my bag, but quickly being caught in Eli's arms. I was startled by his touch, as Eli's eyes opened wider, seeing me push him roughly off of my arms.

"Hey, hey," Eli whispered, keeping a calm tone as Ms Dawes glanced at us, noticing we were the last ones in the class and she asked, "Clare, is Eli bothering you?"

I gulped, looking between Eli and Ms Dawes, as I shook my head slowly, tears forming in my ears when I whispered, "I'm fine...no, he was just trying to help." I quickly grabbed my bag from the floor, tossing it over my shoulder and rushing out of the English room door.

"Clare," Eli pleaded as my throat grew dry, my lungs tightening as I stopped walking, "Come on Clare...at least look at me."

Tears started to stream down my face as I remembered_** him**_ touching me, as I imagined _**his**_ hands roaming up and down my sides. I flinched, my chest jolting slightly remembering his sharp nails digging into my hipbones.

I felt his hand touch my shoulder caringly, only wanting to help as I quickly moved, his hand dropping to his side as I could tell his impatience starting to grow. I sighed, looking up at him with tear filled eyes as he whispered, "It's _**him**_ Clare...isn't it?"

"I-I I c-can't stop thinking about it," I stuttered truthfully, biting back my bottom lip nervously and my heart beat started to race in fear of the memory.

Eli placed his hand over his forehead frustratingly, then sighed, probably not knowing what to do in this situation. I always put him in this place, a place where he never wants to be..._**the bad guy.**_

"What do you want me to do to help you Clare? I can't hold onto you, you'll just cry and I don't want to force-," everything beyond this point in his sentence was unconsciously being blocked out of my ears.

_**I couldn't hear him, but his feeble lips continued to move.**_

A part of me was relieved that no one was watching this breakdown because all of the students in Degrassi had left, but Eli and I were the only students who remained inside the school.

When Eli extended his hand out, gesturing me to take it, my eyes blinked quickly, my eyesight fooling me, making me believe that Eli's hands were _**his**_. What makes me feel even worse every time I think about him, is that I never even knew him...not even his name.

_**He was a stranger.**_

I backed up from Eli, shaking my head as he sighed, "Come on Clare...just take my hand, please. It's not him, why can't you believe me? It's just me, it's just Eli...your best friend, your boyfriend."

"I'm sorry Eli," I whispered through my tears that were getting caught up between my chapped lips, "But I can't."

Eli didn't fight me like he usually did, or try to his full extent to persuade me to just take his hand. I smiled weakly, remembering how he told me to pretend that his hand was my favorite food, but not even that worked...

_**Nothing works...**_

**I don't work.**

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><p><em>"Hey Clare, it's me again...I'm sorry about before, I just had a long day and didn't know what to do. I don't know what to do with you anymore, I want to help but you won't let me...you won't let me love you. I love you and I just want to hold you. Please Clare, call me back. We need to talk<em>," I listened to his voicemail over and over again for the past two hours as I kept the towel pressed up against my arm.

_**Cutting.**_

A sweet release of life, but in my opinion, nothing but a distraction.

I spent the last two hours lying in my bathroom, my knees pulled against my chest and my arm lying limply beside me. I smiled, not being able to feel my arm at this point. That's how I liked it. I loved when the cuts were deep enough to make me feel the pain, but also the aftermath, the numbness.

_**It's the best part.**_

Eli and I never did anything sexual, never did anything where he would see my arms or my legs. I never let him get that far, and he was always so patient when it came to taking _**that step**_.

_Eli never gets to see the gashes on my stomach or the scars covering my wrists..._

Fear creeps into my mind every time I remember where I was_** forced**_ to let a man see my body. I didn't want it, and the best part is, I didn't 'do it' with someone I wanted to.

_It __**would've**__ been Eli..._

I grinned, the past replaying in my mind as I could feel his huge, sweaty hands all over my body. All he did was touch, feel, and even lick my body. He didn't ask for permission, he didn't whisper he loved me in my ear...no, but he did use a condom.

**That was the only thing I could be thankful for.**

I brought my fingertips up to my lips, slowly tracing them as I could feel his thick lips against mine. They weren't Eli's soft, thin lips that I was so used to, it was everything a stranger possessed.

My phone vibrated in my hand, but I didn't dare to pick it up.

It was probably Eli, more specifically, the Eli on a nervous outburst. All he does is care, that's all he constantly does. He doesn't do anything but have me on his mind twenty four seven, and every time I don't answer, he calls.

_**That's why I love him...he's the only one that still cares.**_

I flipped open my phone about a minute after Eli's phone call, and I weakly pressed the _"one"_ on my keyboard, switching it to speaker. Tears quickly streamed down my face, clashing with the blood on my arm as I heard his voice, "C-Clare it's me...it's me okay. I'm here! D-don't, just please don't do anything stupid. I'm here, it's Eli! It's frickin' Eli!"

He paused, but I could hear his sobs through the phone as I could see him now, stroking his fingers through his hair, searching for the words to say.

"I need you Clare, please...answer the phone. I-I'm in Morty now...I'm in _**our**_ car Clare...the car we're gunna' take to our wedding. We're gunna' put a big banner on the back of him with our names on it and everything. P-please pick up the phone Clare, please!" He screeched, and I could hear the tires on Morty screeching.

He laughed, "Holy shit Clare, pick up the damn phone! Y-you know what, I don't care what you say...I don't care what you do, you can punch me, kick me for all you want! Hell, even aim for the face! I'm coming inside your house and I'm hugging the shit out of you and if you don't like it, well then you can break up with me afterwards! You're worth it Clare, you're worth it!"

"Voicemail has ended, to delete press-," I clicked the _'save'_ button, smiling.

_**Help was on the way...I didn't need to worry.**_

When I heard my front door open and slam shut, I grinned faintly, my vision becoming blurry as I heard Eli shout my name repeatedly ,searching...for_** me**_.

"Clare," his voice only heard like extreme fear and worry, as I gulped, my throat completely dried by now. I flinched, hearing a thumping in my head, currently echoing through to my ears.

"Oh Clare," Eli's voice was cracking, and I could feel the tears from his cheeks falling onto my cheeks.

I looked up, feeling Eli's body heat invading me, which meant he was close. I opened my eyes, and I could feel Eli's arm snake around my waist. At first, I thought about pushing him away, but I just couldn't do it.

"Why'd you do it Clare?" He groaned in my ear, pulling me into a tight embrace and I could feel him sigh in relief. He was relieved that I was still alive, that I was still breathing for him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered faintly, as he pulled back from our embrace, with teary eyes. I sniffled, searching in his eyes and waiting for the anger, the wrath that I usually receive from everybody around me.

_**But, all I saw were tears.**_

I watched as his Adam's apple bobbed slightly, the tears still streaming down his face as my chin quivered, not being able to talk anymore. His face wasn't readable at this point, as I snaked my arms around his waist slowly and he smiled.

"You want to hug me?" He asked in a gentle tone, his voice shaky but a tint of happiness was definitely heard.

My eyes glanced up and down his body frame, and for the first time, in a long time, all I saw was the boy who I was in love with. I was staring into the eyes of my boyfriend, my best friend, and the person I'm going to marry one day.

"Please," I whispered, reassuring him as he didn't hold back, wrapping his arms around me for the first time in eight months.

I took a deep breath, tears falling onto his leather jacket as I felt his hands stroking my back soothingly. This wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually, quite nice for a change.

"I-I'll n-never let go, I promise," he stuttered shakily in my ear, but his words sounding confident and strong.

"You know, humans might be just...just skin and bones, but Clare, you're so much more than that," he whispered in my ear and I laughed, actually laughed without faking it. I remember when Eli and I had gotten into a fight a month ago, I recall telling him how I felt like just skin and bones, walking the Earth in search of a home...a place to be welcomed in.

_**But, he...he was my home all along.**_

His hands stroked my back, as I clenched my eyes shut before I could look down at my arm that was still dripping blood onto the white tiles of my bathroom floor. My heart raced against his chest, but all I could feel was his grip tightening and it felt everything but frightening, like I had expected it to be.

When Eli tried to pull away from our embrace, I shook my head and gripped onto him tighter, "Don't break your promise!"

"I won't, I won't," he whispered calmly, pulling me into his lap and leaning against the bathroom wall. I smiled as he snaked his right arm around my waist, with his other hand wrapped around the towel onto my wrist.

Without a word, I leaned my head into the crook of his neck, and took a slow, steady breath.

I slowly pulled back his jet black hair behind his ear, our foreheads touching gently, but our bodies close enough for me to feel his heart racing against his rib cage. I gulped, closing my eyes softly and pressing a gently kiss to his lips.

My lips curled into a grin...finally feeling the lips that I've waited to touch in four months.

Eli pulled back slowly, keeping his cool hand by the right side of my cheek as he kissed the corner of my lips, his tears falling onto my face as he whispered, "Don't you ever think you have no one...because, you have me, forever."

**END OF SKIN AND BONES**

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><p><strong>Review! :)<strong>

Love you guys,

Cliffhanger Girl

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